It’s Good To Finally Be Home

(first posted to fb – May 6, 2013 – From A to B – Part 3 )

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I have spent the past 21 months living like a gypsy. In fact, moving around has been a common theme for me these past 9 years. This could be considered strange for someone who is a Taurus – we like our creature comforts and stability – and while it’s been an amazing journey, the constant moving around has proven to be utterly exhausting. Perhaps it’s my Leo Rising that brought about all this flare for drama and adventure. Then again, maybe I’m just crazy.

Before embarking on these adventures, I lived in the same house until I was 23, give or take 4 years at university, and then spent the next 7 years in the same apartment in Toronto. I’ve always loved to travel, but my home base was pretty solid, so living like a nomad, moving almost every year for 7 years in Victoria and then every month or so after that, has been interesting to say the least. You’d think one might do this in her 20’s, but I decided to change my life when I hit 30 and this nomadic experience came part and parcel with that decision.

If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that we really don’t need a lot. It’s much easier to live with less. With each move I was able to minimize my possessions until, after all was said and done, I eventually moved back to Ontario with 10 Rubbermaid bins – books mainly – and 3 small suitcases. It was as though my subconscious had been guiding me towards this experience from day one.

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I remember going to see a psychic with my Mum when she came to Victoria to visit, shortly after I had moved into apartment number 6, the last apartment I was going to live in on the island. The psychic told me she saw me living like a nomad. I didn’t want to believe it. I’d just moved and had absolutely no desire to move again.

Then, a year later, I found myself getting rid of even more of my belongings, putting a bunch of stuff in a tiny storage locker, finding a home for my cat, and traveling to Spain, England, and Croatia, spending the bulk of my time in Spain over those next 7 months. And the experience doesn’t end there.

Upon returning to Victoria, unclear about where I wanted to be but feeling that this wasn’t it, I found myself bouncing around from a crappy basement apartment, to a cabin on the water, to a hotel, to various friends’ places in Sooke, Cumberland, Cook St. Village, and James Bay. I was so lost, confused and totally fed up that I even chose to spend a couple of nights sleeping in a pick up truck on Dallas Road.

In hindsight, I can see that this whole experience has been a necessary and important part of my personal and spiritual growth, but it was very challenging when I was in the thick of it.

While in the cabin in Sooke, where I had intended to meditate and continue with the writing project I had so diligently started during my first month in Spain, I spent two months zoning out watching Internet television and eating pancakes and dark chocolate with a variety of different teas. I sunk myself into an emotional overload, depriving myself of any nutrition and watching hour after hour of emotionally charged dramas like Damages, Breaking Bad, and Grey’s Anatomy – to name a few.

And I watched myself do it.

There were days when some part of myself tried to tell me to go for a walk, I was living amidst so much Nature after all, which I could see from my bed. “Get out and go for a walk”, I would say to myself, but my body was too heavy and just wouldn’t cooperate.   It was like that song by the Barenaked Ladies, “Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did.” Yep, I most certainly had that one covered. And I gained close to 20 lbs doing it.

On the good days, often following a stint watching comedies instead of dramas – thank goodness I don’t watch the news – I would sit out on my enormous deck surrounded by lush greenery, looking out over the water with the mountains in the distance, reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”, and coming face to face with my Ego.

But my absolute saving grace was the hummingbirds. I had hung a feeder just outside my window so I could see them from the bed as well as while sitting on the deck. Hummingbirds fascinate me and are so joyful to observe, especially when they hover just in front of you, chirping and buzzing as though they are smiling at you, insisting you give them a smile in return. I spent hours watching them.

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When my three months at the cabin were up, I had no choice but to move again, but I still had no idea where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to return to things I had already done and had promised myself I wouldn’t do again. Deep down I knew my time in Victoria had come to a close long before I left for Spain and that a big change was in order, yet again.

So, after a few more months living the gypsy life, I wound up back in Ontario where it all began. I spent the next three months house sitting for my parents and re-connecting with old friends while determining where I wanted to hang my hat for a while. And, as it turns out, I’ve landed in Toronto again.

Am I looking for a new adventure? Of course I am. Do I want to live like a gypsy again? I’d prefer to travel for work and pleasure now, please. Have I changed at all? I definitely feel as though I have. And was it worth it, all this moving around from A to B? Absolutely.

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